one of my favorite jokes of all time
the hobbit | genderswapped modern au
Billie Baggins led a relatively uneventful life until G, a very old (and distant) family friend with more than one trick up her sleeve, chances upon her super secret computer hacking talents. The next thing she knows is that she’s somehow become part of a company of women who are hellbent on stealing some sort of lost heirloom or something—whatever, it’s all good fun until they cross paths with S.M.A.U.G. (Systematic Management and Acquiring of Unethical Gold, if you must know).
[Romola Garai as Bilbo, Helen Mirren as Gandalf, Imogen Poots as Fili, Katie McGrath as Kili, Penelope Wilton as Oin, Imelda Staunton as Gloin, Catherine Tate as Bombur, Lara Pulver as Bofur, Maria Doyle Kennedy as Bifur, Juno Temple as Ori, Rebecca Front as Dori, Louise Brealey as Nori, Julie Walters as Balin, Lena Headey as Dwalin, Kristin Scott Thomas as Elrond and Carrie-Anne Moss as Thorin Oakenshield]
credit to Kay for fem!Thorin
J.D. Salinger, Franny and Zooey
The boy-king Ronnel Arryn and his mother Sharra Arryn, his Queen Regent, had ruled over the Kingdom of the Vale during the War of Conquest. Sharra was considered one of the most beautiful women of Westeros. When Aegon sought to conquer the Seven Kingdoms, she offered him her hand in marriage if he would declare Ronnel his heir. He refused, and in the battles that came after, Sharra stood firm. The Arryn fleet won against Targaryen ships at the Battle of Gulltown. In retaliation, Aegon sent his sister-wife Visenya. Riding Vhagar, her dragon, Visenya burned the Arryn fleet at anchor. Sharra refused to bend the knee. She amassed the strength of the Vale at the Bloody Gate, expecting an onslaught from the Targaryens. However, defeat was not in blood but in coercion: through the boy-king himself. With the army diverted from the Eyrie, Visenya flew Vhagar into the very heart of the stronghold. Sharra returned to her son sitting on Visenya’s lap, enchanted by the sight of Vhagar in the courtyard. Sharra bent the knee, and the Eyrie fell without a fight.(with Rosamund Pike as Visenya Targaryen.)
A pure world, Sansa thought. I do not belong here.
The Moon Song - Scarlett Johansson